Paupow, 36

I have suffered.
I have been in pain,
and yet I can't manage
to hide my tears.

I have tried to
deny my fear
of been hurt.
My fear
of opening my soul
and been torn
into little pieces
of glass
that can only lacerate
my present, my future
and remind me of my past.

I have smiled
at things that
aren't meant to smile at.
I have cried,
internally,
while my hate.

I have gone down and up.
I have been strong enough
to hold my self back
from quiting it all.

It has been a hard trip.
Roads are full of puddles,
detours, and stopping sings.
A continues battle
beween heart, nature
brain and soul.

Like many other skeptics,
I have made Solitude
my the greatest company.
I have become
lover of Silence.
I have talked to the the mirror
and felt pleased by the answers.

I have done
everything I can
to be like the rest.
The fearful rest.
Those of us who
want to avoid pain.
Those of us who
have been hurt
again and again
and have made each situation
more than lesson,
a layer tough to bear.

Yet, I've been incapable of creating
a shield.
I have only been capable of carrying
one, huge, clear coat
exposing everything
that my life has become.

I have become sencire.
I have allowed my tears
to flow as comon nature,
as ways of clearing the spirit
a relief, a form of freedom.

Poetry has become expressions.
Music has become consolation.
Truths has become
the best support
to hold me from shattering.

I have tried
I have honestly tried
to deny what I feel;
To hide because of my fear.
But I have only achieve
more regreat, more pain, more tears.

My clarity is my complexity.
Uncertainty is my destiny.
Wether I like it or not
life will always be
loaded with unwanted events.
Therefor I can only say,
in my defense,
that my lighter, exposed spirit
has been a better protection
that a thick, rough shield.